Don't Stress Over What You Can't Control

"Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe." - Mark Twain

Modern Translation: Stressing about things you can't change accomplishes nothing, and only makes you feel worse.

Questions

• What are you currently worrying about that's likely beyond your control?

• How does worrying affect your mood and your ability to take action?

• Could you use the energy you spend on worry for something more productive?
  
  

Simple Explanation

Worry is like paying for something you'll never receive– it's a losing transaction. Plus, most things we worry about either never happen or turn out better than we expect. Worrying robs us of the present moment and doesn't help us solve anything.

Deep Dive

The Stoics had a powerful concept called the "dichotomy of control." It means focusing on what's within your power (your thoughts, actions, and responses) and not getting entangled in what isn't (external events, the opinions of others).

Epictetus put it bluntly: "The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control."

Marcus Aurelius echoed this: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." He believed that our mental clarity and tranquility were our strongest assets.

Applicable Situations

• Stressing over an upcoming job interview or presentation

• Anxious about an upcoming test result

• Worrying about what other people think of you
  
  

Action Items

• Identify things you're worrying about and determine whether they are within your control

• If something is out of your control, try to shift your focus to taking action on what is within your power.

• Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and avoid getting lost in anxious thoughts.
  
  

Modern Connections

The advice "don't sweat the small stuff" reflects the same spirit – it recognizes that we have limited energy and it's wise to spend it thoughtfully. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques often focus on challenging negative thought patterns, which aligns with the Stoic idea of taking charge of our internal judgments and reactions.

Consider the character of Elsa from Disney's Frozen. Her song "Let It Go" is practically a Stoicism crash course! Letting go of the fear of judgment and focusing on what she does have control over allows her to become the person she wants to be.

We all witness the negative effects of excessive worry in the lives of celebrities or social media personalities constantly entangled in the opinions of others. Those who remain calm and focused on their own values lead much more stable and fulfilling lives.

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