“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Take Control: A Stoic Approach to External Stress

Foreword: Don't let external events steal your peace. This Stoic wisdom offers a powerful tool to reframe your perspective.

Quote: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” - Marcus Aurelius

Modern Translation: It's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you react to it that determines your experience.

Questions:

• What's one external situation that tends to upset you?

• Can you identify how your own thoughts contribute to your distress?

• How might changing your perspective change the way you feel?
  
  

Simple Explanation: Stoicism teaches us that we cannot always control what happens around us. However, we can control our reactions to those situations. When we get upset, it's often because of how we judge events, not the events themselves. This quote reminds us that we always have the power to re-evaluate our perceptions and choose a more empowering response.

Deep Dive: This core Stoic principle is about recognizing the distinction between what's within our power and what isn't. Marcus Aurelius, contemplating this same idea, wrote, "Choose not to be harmed – and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed – and you haven't been."

Focusing on external things we cannot control breeds anxiety, frustration, and a sense of helplessness. Stoicism advocates for inner strength – the ability to manage our thoughts and emotions regardless of what life throws our way. Epictetus reminds us, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

This doesn't mean suppressing emotions, but viewing them as information rather than letting them dictate our well-being. Imagine the freedom of feeling less "distressed" by traffic jams, difficult people, or unexpected setbacks. That's the power of the Stoic mindset.

Applicable Situations

• Dealing with frustrating work situations or difficult coworkers.

• Facing health challenges or unexpected setbacks.

• Feeling overwhelmed by social pressures and comparison.
  
  

Action Items

• Practice mindfulness: Observe your feelings without judgment.

• Challenge negative interpretations: Are your thoughts helping or harming you?

• Focus on your sphere of control: What small action can you take, if any, to improve the situation?
  
  

Modern Connections: This concept appears in many forms. In Viktor Frankl's powerful memoir, Man's Search for Meaning, he chronicles finding purpose even in the horrific circumstances of a concentration camp, writing, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

We also see this reflected in the "Serenity Prayer," commonly used in recovery programs: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

The Stoic principle of controlling our perception transcends time. From athletes facing setbacks to activists fighting for change – it's this inner resolve that helps us weather external challenges with resilience.

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